Thursday, October 12, 2023

About Friends: Rachel, Monica and Phoebe

Victoria Pedraza | 10/2/2023

"Friends," a timeless TV sitcom, delves into the lives of six friends navigating the complexities of adulthood and relationships in New York City. Among these characters, three inspiring women—Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe—emerge as pivotal figures, each with a unique journey.

Throughout the ten seasons of the show, we see them grow from young adults struggling to figure out life, relationships, and careers to actual adults with a (slightly) firmer grasp of those things.


Rachel Green's character undergoes significant growth and transformation over the ten seasons of "Friends." Beginning as a young woman leaving behind a life of privilege and dependency, Rachel's journey is characterized by self-discovery, personal development, and a pursuit of independence. This is the character through which we, the audience, are introduced to the six characters and their lifestyle. Initially finding her footing in the workforce as a waitress at Central Perk, Rachel gradually rises through the ranks in the fashion industry, illustrating her resilience, determination, and ambition.

Analysis of Rachel's Career Goals and Gender Roles

Rachel's career trajectory challenges traditional gender roles prevalent in the late 90s and early 2000s. As she pursues a thriving career in fashion, her journey highlights the importance of breaking free from societal expectations that may confine women to traditional roles. 

We know what her life was supposed to look like. She was supposed to marry Barry and be an orthodontist’s wife. Her mother, in particular, embodies what her future could have been like. Rachel's determination to succeed in a competitive industry emphasizes that women can aspire to professional success, proving that dedication and ambition are not bound by gender.

Discussion of Rachel's Relationships and Empowerment

Rachel's relationships with men throughout the series play a crucial role in her development and empowerment. Her romantic involvements, particularly with Ross and later with her co-worker Tag, offer insights into themes of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. These relationships serve as catalysts for her personal and professional growth, empowering her to assert her needs, desires, and aspirations, ultimately shaping her into a strong, independent woman.

Throughout the series, Ross and Rachel's relationship is a focal point, showcasing the complexities of love, growth, and the balance between personal and romantic aspirations. Despite the ups and downs, their relationship ultimately evolves into a mature understanding of mutual respect and partnership. Rachel's choice to be with Ross is a reflection of her agency and empowerment, affirming that a woman can make choices in love and career that resonate with her true self.

By the end of the show, Rachel chooses to stay in New York, as opposed to taking a job in Paris, and rekindle her often contentious relationship with Ross. This decision symbolizes a powerful assertion of her desires and aspirations, reflecting her growth and self-awareness. It underscores her acknowledgment of the importance of personal happiness and the significance of nurturing relationships that have shaped her journey. Rachel's choice to prioritize her own fulfillment, both romantically and professionally, portrays her as a strong, independent woman who has come full circle in her quest for self-discovery and empowerment. 


Monica Geller's character undergoes a profound evolution, shifting from a perfectionist striving for approval to a self-assured woman comfortable in her skin. Initially portrayed as excessively competitive and deeply entrenched in the pursuit of flawlessness, Monica's character development exposes her vulnerabilities and complexities.

Analysis of Monica's Perfectionism and Societal Expectations

Monica's perfectionism directly responds to societal expectations placed on women to maintain an ideal image. These societal expectations take in the voice of her mother who constantly criticizes everything from Monica’s relationships, and career, to her appearance. It serves as a microcosm reflecting the pressures women face to conform to societal standards of beauty, behavior, and success. Through her journey, viewers witness the toll these expectations can take on an individual's mental and emotional well-being. 

Throughout the show, we see Monica grow to be someone who can accept that life doesn’t always happen the way we think it should. And by learning to be more flexible, she gets everything she ever wanted. 

Discussion of Monica's Relationships and Gender Norms

Monica's relationships, particularly her loving and egalitarian partnership with Chandler, subvert traditional gender norms. The depiction of an equal, supportive relationship challenges the stereotype of women solely in domestic roles. Her character showcases that a woman's identity can extend beyond societal expectations, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect, partnership, and authenticity.

In the context of soulmates, Ross and Rachel symbolize a profound romantic connection, showcasing the intricacies of love, growth, and the delicate balance between personal and romantic aspirations. Despite the numerous ups and downs, their relationship evolves into a mature understanding of mutual respect and partnership. Rachel's decision to rekindle her relationship with Ross at the end of the series signifies her agency and empowerment, affirming that a woman can make choices in love and career that resonate with her true self.

On the other hand, Monica and Chandler epitomize the beauty of friendship within a romantic relationship. Their bond is a genuine partnership characterized by unwavering support and collaboration towards shared objectives. For example, when Monica receives a tempting job offer in New York, she opts to seize the opportunity, and Chandler, instead of feeling threatened, stands by her with encouragement, even planning regular visits to maintain their connection. In a similar vein, when Chandler contemplates a career change, Monica steps in to create a structured plan to guide him through the decision-making process.


Phoebe Buffay's character embodies eccentricity and authenticity, standing as a stark contrast to convention. Phoebe's journey epitomizes a unique and unconventional path to self-discovery from her early life as a street-smart, guitar-strumming musician to becoming an integral part of a tight-knit group of friends.

Analysis of Phoebe's Unconventional Lifestyle and Societal Norms

Phoebe's lifestyle challenges societal norms by embracing her distinct identity unapologetically. Her quirkiness and individuality break free from the mold, encouraging acceptance and understanding of diverse expressions of womanhood. Phoebe's journey teaches that empowerment can be derived from embracing one's uniqueness and refusing to conform to societal expectations.

Discussion of Phoebe's Relationships and Empowerment

Phoebe's relationships with men are a testament to her unapologetic sense of self and her ability to empower those around her. Her interactions emphasize acceptance, understanding, and support, highlighting the value of authentic connections. Phoebe's character demonstrates that empowerment emerges when women are true to themselves, valuing their own identities and relationships based on mutual respect and acceptance.

Positive Female Friendships

Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe from "Friends" illuminate the beauty of positive female friendships through their unique and enduring bond. Their camaraderie extends beyond being roommates and blossoms into a deep, unbreakable sisterhood. Their interactions are characterized by unwavering support, understanding, and empowerment, creating a safe space for each other to share their dreams, fears, and aspirations. Whether celebrating achievements, navigating challenges, or providing a shoulder to lean on during difficult times, these women showcase the essence of true friendship - a relationship founded on love, trust, and an unspoken commitment to each other's growth and happiness.

Monica, the responsible and nurturing friend, often assumes the role of the group's maternal figure. She offers sage advice, a listening ear, and practical solutions to her friends' problems. Rachel, the fashion-forward and ambitious go-getter, infuses the group with a sense of determination and empowerment, inspiring them to chase their dreams fearlessly. Phoebe, the whimsical and free-spirited musician, infuses an element of spontaneity and creativity into their lives, reminding them to embrace life's quirks and find joy in the unconventional. Together, they form a harmonious trio, demonstrating the strength and power that arises when women uplift and support one another, showcasing a friendship built on love, laughter, and an enduring bond.


The characters of Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe from "Friends" embody empowering examples of women challenging traditional gender roles and societal expectations. Their nuanced character arcs and diverse narratives emphasize the need for more representation of strong female characters in the media. This representation is crucial in promoting inclusivity, breaking stereotypes, and empowering women in various aspects of life. It is essential to support and uplift women in our own lives and advocate for a media landscape that accurately represents the strength and resilience of females.

The triumvirate of Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe from "Friends" serves as a powerful reminder that women can shatter stereotypes, challenge societal norms, and pave their paths. Let us celebrate and uplift the women in our lives while advocating for a media landscape that accurately represents the strength and resilience of females. Together, we can foster a world where every woman feels empowered to break barriers and make their mark. 

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